I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
