i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
