walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Sorry my hands just texted you
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
