I wish I could punch you in the face.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
