He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Let's get the cat blown out
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
