It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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