What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
