11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
