Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
