Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
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