either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
