so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
