yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
