thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My life is pants optional.
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