my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
