Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
A bitchslap is in order.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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