Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
