I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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