I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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