Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
