Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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