do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
