I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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