ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My dick has a subreddit
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
