everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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