Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
