I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
