Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
