I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
