Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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