conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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