Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
