I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
be right there i have to get my cape
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
