i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
