I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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