like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My pussy is not your playground.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
