You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
