He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
