who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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