I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
