Just fell off a train. Bad.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
