If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
