I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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