problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
