They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
