She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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