I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
