i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
