Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
