Buhtt sex?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
